Back to Work? Cue the Mum Shaming

Abbey with baby Brax (photo courtesy of Instagram/Abbey Holmes

There’s something about women returning to work after having a baby that seems to invite an overwhelming amount of judgment.

Go back too early? You’re selfish. Wait too long? You’ve lost your professional drive. Apparently there’s a perfect moment to return, but no one bothered to tell … women.

Earlier this week, former Darwin girl and Channel 7 presenter Abbey Holmes was slammed online for heading back to work seven weeks after giving birth.

She posted a photo of herself  back on her commentator duties and was promptly torn down by the internet’s self-appointed parenting police.

Granted, she also had a lot of support thrown her way … but unfortunately it’s the loaded barbs such as ‘what already?!’ and ‘far too soon’’ that hit hardest.

Abbey of course handled it with grace telling 7News that her baby was at the forefront of her mind when deciding to return to work - not that she owed anyone an explanation.

But this isn’t new. A decade ago, I wrote about a Territory politician who copped flak for returning to work just three weeks after having a baby. At the time I remember thinking that the criticism was wild and, quite frankly, a little unhinged.

Anyone would have thought she’d announced she was selling her child on Marketplace.

I thought we’d be past it by now — but if anything, social media has just amplified the noise.

And it’s not just about returning to work.

Once you’ve had a baby, you’re apparently open to public commentary forever more.

I still remember being asked, “What, already?” when I stopped breastfeeding at four months. That comment lingered for years – making me question my decision and spending many an anxious night wondering if I had impacted my daughter’s wellbeing.

The truth is every family makes the call that’s right for them, and sometimes social media hate bombers just need to calm the farm and just keep on scrolling if they have nothing to contribute.

Or they could just leave a thumbs up and call it a day.