Reverse Parkers, We Get It - You’re Better Than Us

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who drive straight into a parking space like normal humans, and those who - annoyingly and with an air of superiority - reverse park.

You know the type. They’re the ones who stop mid-traffic at Woolies, blinker flashing, while a long line of cars form behind them.

We sit there waiting for them, clutching the steering wheel, while they meticulously line up their Kia Sportage as if docking the International Space Station.

And when they finally get it right (on the third try), they step out of their car looking smug and like they’ve just completed a high-stakes military operation instead of a grocery run.

Here’s a new flash (and inconvenient truth): it’s MUCH easier to reverse out of a carpark than reverse in. AND .. it’s far less obnoxious.

If you just drive straight in, it’s all over in 2 seconds.

But, nooooo .. you have to bloody reverse in for no good reason.

Why FFS?

Claim: Reverse parkers will tell you they do it “for safety.”

What? That’s stupid.

Claim: They’ll say it’s faster to drive out later.

But takes much longer to reverse in? So stupid.

Claim: Or they say “emergency services recommend it.”

Sure, Sharon. The fire department is deeply concerned about how quickly you can exit the Bunnings car park.

Let’s be honest: reverse parkers aren’t doing it for practicality.

They’re doing it because they are more worried about future THEM, than current US.

Current us can all wait god knows how long while they painfully reverse in so they save 2 seconds of time for future them.

Arrgggghhhh!!!!

Meanwhile, the rest of us pull in nose-first, slightly crooked, one tyre on the line, already halfway into our shopping list before they’ve even straightened up.

We live dangerously. We accept chaos. We know we’ll have to awkwardly back out later, squinting for oncoming traffic - and we’re fine with it. That’s the price of freedom.