2022 - It Feels .. Just a Little Bit Unsettling

I’ve always been one for silently using the first day of the new year to draw a line in the sand and try to move forward in positive ways.

It’s less ‘new year new me’, and more ‘how can I make practical changes to be happier this year’ type thinking.

Except … I haven’t done that this year.

And I’m blaming Coronavirus. 

Covid has undeniably brought much instability & uncertainty to so many of our lives in the last 2 years. 

Borders closed. Borders opened. Extended times away from loved ones. Disconnection from friends, colleagues and family. Children confused. Lives lost. Livelihoods in turmoil. 

And then, just as we thought we were through the worst of it, along comes a little something called Omicron. 

And just like that, we collectively feel like we are back in February 2020.

It’s unrelenting. It’s cruel. It’s unpredictable. 

Throw in a bit of life adversity or the grinding day to day challenges we all face, and everything feels that little bit tougher right now.

All this on top of having to adjust to living in our ‘new normal’ now that Covid has finally reached us here in the Territory.

It just feels … too much. 

People are rightly anxious. A little bit frightened. Resolved to Covid catching up with us, but also, not really wanting it to.

Our roads are quieter and friendly street banter with acquaintances just doesn’t seem to be a thing these days. Don’t even attempt to have a conversation with a stranger in a lift right now.

Looking at my own behaviour I have been way less social, less walks to the mall to pick up lunch, fewer supermarket trips, knocking back suggestions of after work drinks.

I feel like I am running from something that will eventually catch up with me. But I don’t want it to.

Not until my 8 year old is fully vaxxed and my parents have had their boosters, anyway.

I am tired of being on constant high alert, waiting for my 21 year old to call me from Melbourne telling me she has Covid.

I am tired of being hyper vigilant of my 8 year old’s surroundings for fear of her catching Covid unvaccinated.

I am tired of constantly calling my elderly dad to remind him to wear his mask when he is around his unvaxxed friends.

This must be nothing compared to those who have lost loved ones to Covid-19 – including the families of children taken last week in Adelaide and Melbourne.

Our interstate friends and family have been living like this for the past two years .. so I just can’t imagine how exhausting it must feel for them.

That’s not to mention the generation of children who will grow up having missed large parts of important years of their socialisation, or not knowing life without a mask, or with the word Covid firmly embedded in their vocabulary.

***

Earlier this evening my eldest daughter text me asking when I’d be coming to Melbourne to visit her.

She’s Covid weary. All her friends have had it, it has swept through the pharmacy she works at, and her partner’s housemates all have it. It’s all but a waiting game for her now. It’s no way for a 21 year old to live.

The truth is, I have no damn idea when I’ll be heading to Melbourne to see her. Unlikely any time soon.

Because 2022 feels .. a little bit unsettling.

So, instead, I think I will strap myself in and keep riding through the uncertainty of the next few months and upcoming year. With no expectations.

And maybe, just maybe, hold onto a sliver of hope that collectively we’ll ride out this wave and come out the other side with some pretty resilient children as a result.

And perhaps … an actual new year’s resolution for 2023.

 

Maria Billias