So, what do you do?

“So what do you do?”

Ever wondered why this seemingly inoffensive question is asked so often in social settings?

No, neither have I.

But I do now.

Because one month ago I resigned after a super long time in politics.

And this seems to be the only question I get these days (or perhaps I’ve never noticed it before?)

After 16 years all up in politics (with a stint as a journalist in between), I decided to step away.

I ‘leant out’ of my career.

And it has been, undeniably, one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

I stepped off the unrelenting and stressful cycle that is being the head of media and communications for the chief minister.

To have a break. Recalibrate. To focus on me.

And while I have loved every second of this sabbatical, boy, have the last few weeks been an exercise in tolerance.

My identity has been inextricably linked to my career. I hate admitting that. But it is true.

And one thing I have learnt in the last month is that limiting your identity to what you do for a living is a precarious position to be in.

Especially when ..  you kind of .. don’t work anymore.

And everyone keeps .. ASKING YOU WHAT YOU DO.

Example 1. I was sitting by my apartment complex pool the day after I resigned. A well-meaning new neighbour dared engage in the “what do you do” banter.

I, in return, did the classic awkward me, “ahh, umm, kind of worked for the chief minister, but ahh yeah nah I don’t do that now, so umm yeah nothing right now, just you know, sunbaking by the pool .. hahaha .. yay me.”

Example 2. My brother comes over mum’s house and spots me lying on the couch watching The Bold and The Beautiful. “So sis – still unemployed?”. Me: “Go fk yourself”.

You get my gist.

So why do we do this? Why do we measure our worth by how we are defined by others? And why is this definition, more often than not, centered on what we do for a living? Are we supposed to live and die by the brand we have created solely through the professional lens?

One look at Linked In and anyone would think so ..

I dared voyage on there the other day to ‘update’ my profile (apparently that is what I am supposed to do a nanosecond after changing jobs).

And, basically, I would have been better off repeatedly punching myself in the face. It seems everyone has an MBA or ‘Director’ in their title. Or a CV that I probably couldn’t attain in three lifetimes. (I also couldn’t figure out how to update my “current profession”. It appears there is no room for “currently taking time out for myself” )

I have always been career driven, and as a consequence I think I have neglected to see myself through the eyes of the people that really matter to me. My daughters. My closest friends. My parents. I am pretty sure neither of them define me by what I do for a living.

In fact I reckon my youngest defines my by my ability to trip over myself at inopportune moments, or my awesome* car singing to J-Lo, or how I cook her a mean red chicken curry but always overkill it with chilli.

So .. as I venture into this unchartered space of “taking a career break”, I am going to try and hold onto the qualities my own girls care more about in their mum than what I do for work.

I want them to remember me as a present mum. A kind one. An engaged one. A funny one. One that loves chillis. And walks into closed doors. And lets them eat fairy bread for dinner (sometimes).

I want my ‘brand’ to be through their eyes. Not through people I probably won’t even know in 20 years’ time. And certainly not by anyone that thinks Linked In is an accurate reflection of who I am as a person.

I also want to teach them that their passions and callings are so SO important, and they should follow them vehemently. Even if you have to take a little detour every now and then.

As for my passions .. What I do know right now is that I love writing. I love creating content. I love talking to Territorians and hearing their stories and challenges and triumphs. Territorians who might not have a brand that is defined by their corporate lives. Or maybe they do - and that is great too.

I really want to keep sharing these stories with you.

I just hope you stick around and keep following Her Territory on this journey.

*by awesome, I mean really REALLY bad.