Racing to Lose the Baby Weight

Sydney influencer Simone Holtznagel

Three months after I gave birth to my first daughter, an elderly family member put her arm on my shoulder and said: “You still haven’t lost your baby weight, have you?”.

Not even joking. Those were her exact words as I sat there cradling my colicky, screaming baby.

This was 24 years ago and the memory is still as vivid as a punch to the face.

Over the weekend, I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram getting my fix of vacuous influencers, when I came across a Sydney socialite who had one week earlier given birth to a baby girl.

The photo was of her in her pre-pregnancy designer jeans, cradling her newborn baby, captioned: “Feels so good to be back in my jeans”.

After rolling my eyes and thinking “wow, you are a hero - want a medal for that?”, a genuine feeling of sadness for this new young mum washed over me.

When you deconstruct her curated post - the fake eyelashes and full makeup, a designer outfit and baby in arm ready to head out to some fabulous Sydney hotspot -  this model/influencer simply wanted to tell the world that she had regained her pre-baby body. Her pre-baby LIFE, in fact.

And that is so sad. Lame. But sad.

I am sure there are heaps of reasons she decided to post that photo, but I have no doubt that the pressures women face to look exactly the same as they did – no, actually, BETTER - a nanosecond after giving birth probably factored into it.

This influencer is a model so she probably felt she needed to show her management and client base that she was back in business, so perhaps you can excuse this gratuitous post by a smidgeon.

And it is certainly not the first time I’ve seen these influencers whose livelihoods depend on how they look race to post photos of themselves minutes after giving birth. Who can forget the fitness influencer who posted a pic of her abs four days after giving birth? Photo here in case you missed it:

 But much like the insidious beauty marketing campaigns that scream women have to look like they are 25 years of age forever, so too are the pressures women face to bounce back and be hot/fun/social/awesome straight after giving birth.

We can easily blame the rise in social media for this, which has inexorably fuelled a new world of shallowness and humble bragging, but I do feel this weight (excuse the pun) of expectation on women has been around for a pretty long time.

I know, 24 years ago, when this flippant comment was levelled at me, I certainly found the motivation quick-smart to hit the gym and cut down on the Greek pastries the next day.

And that in itself is sad.

Because you know what I could of used after giving birth?

Honesty.

I would have loved somebody to tell me how bloody tough it is to have a baby and feel like yourself again - even years later  (let alone minutes after giving birth).

And I would have loved to have heard more women talking about things like how your boobs and pelvic floor are pretty much shot after giving birth, or how your stomach is never really that flat again, or that stretch marks are a universal stamp of motherhood.

Heck. I would have been happy to look at photos of really really tired looking mums.

It is such a shame that so many of these fitness and beauty influencers don’t use their platforms to post relatable content …not stuff that makes their followers feel like crap.

Much like the old Greek lady who told me to ease up on the chocolate (well, in her own inimitable way), these influencers are too doing a disservice to young and impressionable women.

They are telling their followers that it is normal to look the same as they do days/weeks/months after having a baby.

As for our post-birth, jeans-wearing wearing influencer ..

Well, perhaps for her, wearing tight jeans six days after birth made her “feel so good”.

For me, after giving birth, it “felt so good” to be able to eat my weight in soft cheese again, have a glass of red, and not feel like a baby elephant was stamping on my bladder 24-7.

But each to their own.