The sad power of a toxic partner

In the end all it took was nine words.

"I am the boss, even when you're the premier".

And just like that, a woman's brand synonymous with strength, independence, resilience and smarts ... has been tarnished.

The damning ICAC findings of corruption against former NSW premier Gladys Berejiklian will likely cast a long and dark cloud over her political legacy.

But it is the personal texts between her and her (secret) lover that surfaced during this ICAC investigation that has hit hardest for many women … and proven to be the real tragedy. 

These extremely private texts give us some insight into the two very different lives of Gladys.

The tough, smart woman we all saw calmly and sensibly steer a state through a global pandemic and devastating bushfires.

And the private Gladys who tells her boyfriend she can't do her job without him and submits to his insecure, bullying about being the "boss" of her.

This is the Gladys that asks her bully boyfriend not to shout at her. And who seemingly turns a blind eye to his very obvious and worrying red flags.

And this is just so sad.

On so many levels.

But none more so than showing us how damaging emotional abuse - and this is exactly what this was - can be.

That some relationships are so toxic and the damage is so insidious, that women don’t realise how little value they are placing on themselves.

And for Gladys, ultimately, it was this appeasing of a moronic man that seemingly impaired some of her professional decisions.

There's definitely many lessons to be learnt about the nature of relationships in this sorry saga.

One of the biggest is how a toxic partner can ultimately be your undoing.

But one of the saddest is that sometimes even strong and smart women don’t realise that they deserve better.

Anyone that knows anything about relationships will bang on about how important it is to choose your partner wisely.

The influence they'll have on your happiness is powerful.

But the damage they can do to your self-worth is tenfold.

And that is the greatest tragedy of all.