The problem with MAFS groom’s toxic words

Image from Channel 9.

I have an issue with a gym-addicted middle-aged man thinking he’s too sexy for his wife. Ok well, fake wife. But still.

If you’ve been watching (cough, are addicted to) Married at First Sight, you’ll know I am talking about Dan Hunjas and his disrespectful behaviour towards his wife, Sandy.

Apparently Sandy does not live a fit enough lifestyle for him. Apparently he is all “beast mode” while she is all “sit on the couch and watch Neflix all day”.

Now let’s park the issue of Dan and his inordinate love of a tight singlet and boat shoes, or that he likes hanging out with “squads” that are half his age (yeah he has a squad apparently in the real world. I stalked his Instagram).

Or the fact that he is a massive gaslighter.

Or that he likes to brag to his mates that all his ex’s are “hot”.

Let’s park all that.

Because my real gripe is with the way he thinks it is ok to publicly body shame a female with a normal, healthy body.

Now, if gaslighter Dan was reading this (I hope so), he’d use his pretend fancy words to say something a bit more articulate than this: ‘Go fk yourself Maria, I NEVER body shamed Sandy. I was talking about her lifestyle not being compatible with mine’.

To which I would say this: “Nice try #fitboy”.

To jog some memories, his exact words (among many others) were:

"Coming into this experiment I never thought that I had a type, but one of the things I've been learning through this experience is that I actually do have a type. And that type is someone who's quite active, into fitness and all that kind of stuff."

Don’t kid yourself Dan. Your words are toxic.

The problem lies in the unsaid. Because what he is really saying is this: “You are not hot enough for me. You do not have the bodyshape or look enough like a botoxed barbie doll. My hotness does not match yours.”

And that is so damaging on so many levels.

Not just to poor Sandy who has had to face the public humiliation of being rejected by a douchebag on national television, but to every female who has ever had a sh*t man say something not particularly nice about their bodies. Or a family member commenting on their weight. Or an Instagram influencer selling them #fitspo messages while spruiking weight loss powders.

Sandy is gorgeous, but she very clearly does not fit the influencer metric of a woman who is size zero, blonde and trout lipped.

And Dan sure as hell made sure he drew the country’s attention to this during the week. 

Image via Daily Mail