Saying goodbye … it’s so Darwin

Living in Darwin has made me cold.

Now stay with me.

Clearly I’m not talking about the climate. Nor am I saying that life in the Territory has turned me into a mean girl.

What I am talking about is the armour that I’ve developed over the years out of necessity ... a cold shield to protect my feelings.

Not because I want to, but because I HAVE to.

Because I keep losing friends.

Welcome to life for a long-term Territorian in the faraway Top End of Australia.

Where you can’t get too used to being friends with someone, because ultimately, they move away.

Darwin has long been a transient city. I love it, sure, but I’ve also lived here since I was 3 months old. It’s firmly ingrained in my bones.

But for people who come up for job opportunities or a sea change, the lack of attachment means there is no guarantee they will be here long term.

And that sucks. Big time.

Most of my closest friends in the world live in different cities to me.

They’ve all come into my life here in Darwin and made such an impact on it .. and then they have left.

From Perth to the Sunshine Coast, Melbourne to Brisbane, Adelaide to Sydney.

This isn’t a pity party I promise you. It just is what it is.

Darwin has been a wonderful home to them, but they have ultimately moved to bigger cities .. whether it be for work, love or family.

Over the years I’ve learnt to accept the inevitable phone call breaking it to me that another friend is moving interstate.

But it wasn’t always like that.

I cried and was petulant when my girlfriend Nikola told me she was moving to Perth 15 years ago.

Around the same time, I had a near falling out with another dear friend because I chose not to go to her goodbye drinks at the Sailing Club.

I was being selfish and making it about me, even if it was a bit of a coping mechanism at the time.

But this armour that I have quietly acquired in the last decade or so has given me an added layer of resilience now.

So when I do get that phone call these days, I don’t buckle or sook or get melodramatic anymore.

I simply remember just how awesome my girlfriends are no matter where they live, and how very pragmatic us girls can be.

And that means lots of long-distance phone calls over wines, many exchanges of memes, lots of Instagram tagging, much joy (and occasional tears) over Facetime, and - ultimately - some of the best girls’ weekend catch ups in the world.

Catchups when we are in the same town is a wonderful thing